Slayers CC: College Confidential
by Belfast Docks
Summary: "...50 pages of reading for this class, 20 problems to solve for that class... It was going to be a long night. Or maybe just a long semester." Modern AU, Fictional University, WIP. Lina/Gourry (and other canon pairings), rated for language and sexual innuendos.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Babbling:** A completely _random_ idea I had. I don't often write AU's, but I did one recently for another series and I had fun writing it. And, since I'm in graduate school after a major career change, experiencing university again as a slightly older student, I wanted to really play with some ideas and stuff I notice around me.

 **Note #1:** Football in this story means American Football, not soccer. Also...author is not particularly a sports fan, so there may well be mistakes with sports scenes. Also the math. I'm not a math person, either.

 **Note #2:** I am open to different title ideas. I honestly didn't know what to title this. _Semi-Charmed Life_ was another idea I had, because I was a 90's teen and let's face it, I blared that song on the radio more times than I could count. I think my current title is cliché.

 **Note #3:** This story is NOT complete and I have no bloody clue where I'm going with it. As of September 2018, I had 2.5 chapters written. Who knows if I will finish this or come up with an actual plot line. What you see is what you get. No promises. I have a thesis waiting in the wings to be written too, and that's a teensy bit more important. My Muse mocks me.

 **Disblaimer:** I obviously don't own _The Slayers_. M stands for masterb- uh, mature. Mostly for excessive language and possibly sexual themes, because I am notorious for playing about in the gutter. It's a fun little place. Also, flames are ignored and marshmallows are gleefully roasted over them.

 **Pairings:** Canon (Lina/Gourry, Zelgadis/Amelia, Xelloss/Filia)

* * *

 **Slayers _CC_ : College Confidential**

* * *

Lina Inverse stormed across the quad, readjusting the satchel of books on her shoulder as she ignored a gaggle of chattering Freshman girls. Instead of walking around them, she simply plowed directly through them, earning a few nasty yelps, a couple of ugly remarks, and some pretty foul language, all of which she also ignored. She was nearly late for her appointment with her advisor, Professor Rezo, and she had no time for measly Freshmen who were only interested in whether or not they'd be getting laid this weekend, and to hell with studying.

She had no idea why the man wished to see her — term had only just started two weeks prior and the intimidating mathematics professor surely had bigger fish to fry; after all, he typically had to sort through all the new students that had declared mathematics their major. Lina had been cleared to study practically whatever she wished under the mathematics curriculum two years previously, so long as she met the requirements to earn the major. She was one of Rezo's favorite students because she was so brilliant, and he generally left her to her own devices. Besides, she had other things to do today — specifically nipping into the library for a bit of research for her psychology class, followed by a grueling evening hockey practice. To top it off, she'd gone and slept late.

Well, if push came to shove, she could pass the psychology class with minimal research. It wasn't her major, even if it was a required course for graduation. She wondered, briefly, why she hadn't taken the class back in her Freshman year. Was it because she had been so desperate to take calculus courses instead? Something like that.

Psychology aside, she _couldn't_ skip hockey practice; hockey was her primary scholarship, and she needed to keep it.

On the other hand, it wasn't as if any of it really even _mattered_. It didn't _matter_ that she had graduated high school two years early, that she was a college senior at the age of twenty, that she was the best female hockey player in the region, or that she was going to graduate _Magna Cum Laude_ in May. It didn't _matter_ because her perfect, older sister had graduated from a French culinary school at the age of _twenty-one_ and landed a coveted spot as a _sous chef_ at a five star restaurant, because Luna was just that bloody amazing.

What _did_ matter was that at the age of of sixteen, Lina had posted a video on YouTube showing said buxom older sister taking a shower, earning the wrath of said older sister and their parents, which was probably why Lina chosen an out-of-state university — all the way up in the north midwest, despite the cold weather and lake-effect snow. Her sister could keep sunny Los Angeles and her parents could keep their relaxing ranch in southern Colorado. Lina would have moved halfway across the world if she'd had the chance; as it was, the hockey scholarship won out over going overseas. Hitting people on the ice was a great way to let off steam, after all. And Cambridge was a bit too stuffy for her liking.

As for the YouTube video… Well, at over six million hits, the thing had gone viral, which she considered a mild success, and she had cashed in on the situation by asking for donations for future videos. Her sister should be proud of her double-D chest, Lina thought bitterly, as she glanced disdainfully down at her own chest — a modest (read: ridiculously small) size _almost_ -B. Of course, Lina had been forced to delete her YouTube accounts shortly afterwards, to avoid legalities of "stealing" money when she wasn't able to post any additional videos of her sister. Because Luna sure as hell wasn't going to let her pull it off a second time.

 _Blast Luna_. Perfect, bloody Luna with her perfect, bloody chest and perfect, bloody career and her perfect, bloody popular friends and their parents' perfect, bloody admiration.

Lina's stomping echoed up the stairs to the third floor of the mathematics hall, and she had to take a deep breath to calm her irritation before she knocked politely on her professor's office door. Meeting Rezo while she was angry was _never_ a good idea; she'd learned that back when she was a Freshman.

He immediately bade her to enter, but when she did so, it was to some surprise.

The Mathematics head was sitting behind his desk and he had just closed a student's file, but in front of the desk stood one of the tallest guys Lina had ever seen — at least two heads taller than she was. She was short though, and the office was cramped, so perhaps outside in the open he might not look _quite_ so tall. Regardless, he looked awkward and confused, shuffling his feet and shifting a couple of books under one arm. _Must be a jock_ , she thought with annoyance. Though she had no idea what sport he played with that long blonde hair. It almost looked weird on him, tied back at the nape of his neck with a leather band. It almost made him look girly…except for all those bulging biceps and triceps and pectorals. Was he a male cheerleader or something? _That_ thought was a bit disturbing.

Then she suddenly realized she was staring at him, and she quickly shifted her eyes to the desk in front of them. The jock hadn't seemed to notice her at all, even when she had entered the office. _Typical_. Men never seemed to notice her. In fact, his own eyes were diverted towards the other side of the room, as though he didn't really want to look at her at all.

Professor Rezo coughed slightly and Lina snapped her gaze to him.

"Miss… Inverse," he began - in that slow, measured, quiet voice that so many students found horribly intimidating. "Thank you for coming on such short notice. This young man is Mr. Gabriev. He is here on a football scholarship. It is imperative that he keep it, for as I understand it, he is the team's star quarterback this season."

Lina's felt her eye twitch. Football? _Oh, balls_. She didn't attend football games herself, usually because she was too busy. But there was also the fact that she simply didn't give a flying rat's arse about the sport (hockey was infinitely better than football… anyone with brains knew _that_ ). And God knew that _Rezo_ never went to sporting events. Rather, he usually disliked jocks of any kind, and more than once he'd even curtly remarked to Lina that she should give up hockey and focus entirely on calculus instead — to hell with the fact that hockey was her major source of funding for college.

Rezo either didn't notice her twitch, or perhaps just decided to ignore it. Instead, he continued, "Mr. Gabriev is in my _basic_ algebra class, which is a required core course for graduation. He's put it off until junior year, and he is having some difficulties with the subject. As a fellow sports scholarship recipient, I trust you would be willing to tutor Mr. Gabriev on the coursework to assist him in passing the class?"

Oh, _lovely_. Rezo's eyebrows had quirked upward — a sure sign that she had absolutely no choice in the matter. As one of his star mathematics students, this wasn't the first time she had been asked to assist a dim-witted moron. Though she did wonder why he hadn't asked Zel instead; normally, she got the girls who couldn't pass algebra and Zel got the guys.

"Of course, sir," she answered in a clipped, polite voice, knowing that it was fruitless to give any other answer. Rezo might be one of her favorite professors, but for crying out loud! She certainly didn't want to waste any of her time on the idiot who was currently taking up half the office with his hulking bulk! He didn't look like he could walk down the stairs without tripping, let alone understand fractions.

 _Ah, yes_. And _that_ was probably why Rezo hadn't asked Zel to help this guy. Lina tended to take her time with the students who needed her help, even if they aggravated her. Zel, on the other hand, had the patience of a bull that had just been prodded in the ass with a branding iron and was trapped inside a china shop.

God, sometimes she really hated that she'd grown up on a ranch. The animal metaphors never seemed to leave her.

"Excellent," Rezo said, his voice indicating finality. "Mr. Gabriev, Miss Inverse is one of the most brilliant pupils I have ever had the pleasure to teach. I am sure she will be able to assist you in passing the course without too much difficulty. If any issues arise, I trust you will _both_ make an appointment to see me." He handed Lina a piece of paper — the syllabus for the basic algebra class. It didn't appear to have changed since the last time she saw it, last semester, when she'd helped another student. "The next test, as you can see, is in two weeks. I except Mr. Gabriev to make at least a C-minus and improve from there. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal." Lina sighed.

Beside her, her new pupil said nothing. He merely stared dolefully at his shoelaces.

"In that case, you are both excused." Rezo glanced at the clock on his wall. "I have an advanced trigonometry class at ten o'clock."

The football player allowed Lina to exit the room first, and then followed her down the hall; behind them, she heard Rezo lock his office door and head in the opposite direction. She put on a stern expression and turned to face the jock, ready to remind him that he would have to pull his weight in this endeavor. But before she could speak, he was already stammering.

"Look," he blurted, his face pink from embarrassment, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your semester."

"You haven't ruin my semester," she answered testily. " _Yet_."

"I just don't _get_ math," he continued hopelessly, as though he hadn't heard her. "But did I hear him say that you, uh… That you had a sports scholarship too?"

"Yeah. I play hockey."

He blinked. "You play hockey?"

"Don't sound so shocked." She knew _exactly_ what guys like him thought of her: a short, red-headed girl who didn't look old enough to be a freshman, let alone a senior. A girl with a small chest who wasn't worth their time. She wasn't pretty or sexy enough to ask out on a date. Hell, she was practically invisible on campus. Once or twice she'd heard someone peripherally comment under their breath that she was the girl who played hockey like a crazy demon, the one who always got shoved in the penalty box, the one who had received more time outs than the rest of the team combined. When she heard those comments, she had to grit her teeth, count to ten, and keep walking; otherwise, she would turn around and cold-cock whoever had made the remark. Hockey was all about strategy and tactics, and sometimes that meant deliberate penalties.

The jock before her turned brick red. "S-sorry," he stammered, looking back at his shoelaces. The worn strings must have been oddly interesting to him for some reason, she thought with irritation. He went on, "I didn't mean… I _meant_ … Well, I'm the stupidest dude in the class! I'm barely keeping my scholarship and now I have to get help from a short-tempered hockey player with a flat chest! Just my bad luck, I guess."

Lina felt her blood pressure sky rocket. She reached out, grabbed his heavy algebra book from his hands, and whacked him hard with it a few times, regardless of whether he felt it or not. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" she snarled, ignoring his yell as she shoving the book into his stomach. "If you don't want my help, you can just say so, and I'll go back to Rezo right now and tell him the deal's off!"

She had just started to push him out of the way when he grabbed her arm.

"Wait! I'm sorry! I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to say that!" His face was still bright red. "I just… gah! I just get nervous around girls and all! I'm really dumb! It'd probably be better if I just failed the stupid class! It's not like my family would care or not, and football's a lot of pressure!"

That made her stop.

Most of the time, it was easy to forget that there were other people who shared similar problems to hers; others who had a perfect sibling who always stole the spotlight, or others who just didn't get enough attention at home. What pushed Lina to do her best was dwelling in self-pity without letting anyone know her real frustrations, and she tended to be brash, abrasive, cocky, and confident because of it. But deep down, she secretly knew that there were plenty of others who faced the same problems. And deep down, it bothered her that her family gushed over Luna so much.

"Why wouldn't your family care if you failed?" She scowled, because even _her_ parents would comment if she failed a class. It might be a disappointed remark, of course… something about how Luna could pass the class blindfolded. But they would still notice.

He shrugged, though his eyes seemed to darken slightly. "Never mind. It's not important. Let's just say… My family and I… We aren't on the best of terms."

Lina had to bite back a groan. This was going to be next to impossible, but damn it all, she had promised Rezo. His cold disappointment would be hard to swallow if she failed. Regardless of what she thought of this stupid jock (and her opinion wasn't very high; the ass had called her flat-chested and short-tempered in the same sentence, so she rather doubted he would work his way into her good graces by the end of term), she had still agreed to tutor him.

"Look. Write your email down." She reached in her satchel and pulled out a scrap of paper. "I'll email you my schedule tonight and we can figure out what times we can meet. I'll have you understanding algebra in no time. Then you won't need my help, and you can go back to those buxom cheerleaders you'd rather be partying with."

He scribbled down his email with the mechanical pencil she'd handed him and gloomily said, "I doubt I'll get it. I hate math. I'm terrible at it."

"Hey, I haven't started yet," she reminded him angrily.

He handed the paper back _without_ a smile.

She glanced at the sloppy handwriting. "Gourry?"

"Yeah. Gourry Gabriev. I, uh, didn't catch your name?"

"Lina Inverse."

He nodded slightly. "I'll wait for your email, I guess. I have to get to the computer lab and work on a paper for English lit right now. I'm only barely passing that class, too. See you."

"Sure. I'll send the email when I get back to my apartment tonight."

He nodded once more, then started trudging down the stairs.

She scowled after him, but she had more important things to do that morning, so she headed for the library instead of worrying about her newest tutoring pupil.

oOo

The whistle sounded sharp and shrill over the ice, and Lina skidded to a halt, spraying flecks up with her blades.

"Excellent practice!" Coach barked out, his voice ringing over the rink. "See everyone tomorrow, 7:00 p.m. sharp! Hit the showers!"

Lina sighed and rolled her shoulders and neck as her teammates began to skate past her to exit the rink. She waited for the others to get ahead, then pulled her helmet off and shook her sweaty hair out of her eyes. She had a million things to do when she got back to her flat, and more than anything, she wanted a hot shower and a long sleep. It had been a hell of a day, between cramming for psychology, dealing with Rezo's coolness, meeting her idiot new tutoring pupil, attending classes, and a grueling hockey practice to top it all off.

A grating laugh came from behind Lina, and she cringed.

She had been hoping to get through tonight's practice _without_ talking to Gracia, but it seemed she wouldn't be so lucky. The older girl had latched onto her from the moment Lina had joined the team four years ago, and there was absolutely no shaking her, no matter how much Lina cussed at her or hit her. Every time they saw each other, Gracia just had to open her big mouth to try and piss Lina off.

In a whirl of ice, the taller girl slid around Lina, her smirk a little too knowing.

"You're out of sorts tonight," she teased, skating backwards. "You've been fouling and banging around like a freshman out here. Taking out your aggression on us is only going to piss off coach, you know. And the rest of the team."

Lina gritted her teeth and easily skated around Gracia. "Fuck off, Naga," she complained, using the older girl's team nickname. Gracia had a way of slithering over the ice with the puck that made her almost snakelike (or _dragon-like_ , in Gracia's personal opinion) - hence the nickname.

" _Oh-hoho_ , it's like that is it? Must be _man_ trouble."

For all that was good and _holy_ , how could Gracia be so bloody accurate and yet so damned annoying? She had a grating voice that would make armies fall to their knees in surrender, if she would only _shut the hell up_! But sometimes she was dead right about stuff, and Lina loathed to admit it. (And she would _never_ admit it to Gracia's face; otherwise, Gracia's ego would become far too much to deal with).

"What makes you say that?" she asked evasively.

"Woman's intuition," Gracia responded loftily, shifting to skate beside Lina to the rink's exit. She grabbed her blade covers from the bench just off the ice and clicked them on more gracefully than usual; at least she didn't fall over like she normally did. She might be murder on the ice, but Gracia could barely walk to save her life.

Lina slipped on her own blade covers. "Fine. Professor Rezo has yet another shmuck for me to tutor. This one's a real loser. As if I didn't have enough to deal with this semester."

"So what's he like? Your new pupil, I mean."

"You automatically assume it's a guy, huh?"

"Woman's intuition, remember?"

Too tired and moody to argue with Gracia, Lina muttered, "He's a football player."

"Ooooh. Really? Which one?" Gracia looked far too interested.

"I don't know! I don't go to football games! I think he's the quarterback or something."

"The one with long blonde hair? Oh, _hell_ , he's built like a brick shit-"

Lina cut her off before she could get going on how hot she obviously thought this guy was. "Knock if off!" she snapped, pushing Gracia into the wall of the corridor that led to the locker rooms. "He's the biggest idiot I've ever met in my life! I'd be surprised if he could walk down the stairs without tripping, let alone run the ball 10 yards!"

"Actually, he's a damned good player," Gracia reasoned, waxing serious for a moment, even though her eyes were still twinkling mischievously. "Regardless of how stupid he is in class, he has this kick-ass way of plowing through the defensive line. As if they made of were styrofoam."

" _Oooh_ , we must be talking about _Gabriev_."

A new voice — and one Lina disliked just as much as Gracia's — joined the conversation just as the two girls stepped into the locker rooms. With her dyed blue-green hair the color of the Caribbean ocean, Martina Zoana grinned from one of the benches. She was half-dressed and looked wickedly delighted that the discussion was about boys instead of their hard practice, which was what the rest of the team were complaining about around them. Martina played hockey and tennis, though she was better at tennis than hockey. Lina sometimes wondered why she stayed on the hockey team at all, except that Martina liked to knock people around almost as much as Lina did.

"Apparently," Lina responded dryly, lumbering to her locker and sitting with her back to the others. As she bent to unlace her skates, she only vaguely heard Gracia telling Martina about Lina's new tutoring gig, and Martina gushing about how handsome Gabriev was. Lina took that with a grain of salt. Martina would flirt with anything male that moved - and _did_ , for that matter. Rumor had it she was sneaking about with two professors (one old enough to be her father), as well as four college boys on campus, including some guy named Zangulus, who was apparently a member of the fencing team. Lina still didn't understand why the school even _had_ a fencing team.

Distantly, she heard Gracia say, "Well, I'm going to hit the showers. Lina, tell little sis I said hello!"

Lina nodded and pulled off her jersey and pads. In a bizarre twist of fate, her roommate was none other than Gracia's younger sister, who was almost as irritating as Gracia…though not quite. Amelia was a Sophomore poli-sci major. She didn't play any sports whatsoever, although Lina had it on good authority that the girl had been trained in a weird style of martial arts since she'd been a child. Few people knew it, but the two sisters were actually the daughters of a foreign ambassador, and he was hoping the younger would take his place one day. Gracia had flatly refused to enter politics (though really, anyone who knew Gracia would be appalled at the idea of her being a political ambassador). Lina only knew the truth about the sisters because she had to be cleared by national security before Amelia could become her roommate. She still wasn't certain how _that_ had happened, and sometimes, it was best to not ask questions.

oOo

An hour later, after a hot shower and a trek across campus to her apartment, Lina staggered through the door and wasn't at all surprised to find Amelia studiously working on a paper. Several cartons of Chinese take-out were sitting on the counter of their tiny, shared apartment kitchen.

Amelia glanced up, smiled, and said cheerfully, "I thought you'd be hungry after practice, so I ordered out."

"I'm starved," Lina groaned wearily. She dropped her heavy duffel bag and her school satchel to the floor (which earned an annoyed grimace from Amelia, who preferred things in their proper places) and grabbed the take-out. She was shoveling it in her face before she even made it to the couch.

Amelia started typing on her paper again. "You look grouchier than usual," she commented dryly.

"Professor Rezo is forcing me to tutor another student this term."

The words tumbled out of her mouth even while she was still stuffing it with rice. Amelia's thought process was entirely different from Gracia's, and Lina didn't mind confessing realities to her. Amelia was expected to analyze situations in a rational manner, given that she was being groomed for a specific role after she graduated. Gracia never thought rationally about anything.

Amelia turned in her chair and cocked her head to the side. "So? He usually has you tutoring at least one student per semester, doesn't he?"

"Yeah but…" Lina paused, then plowed on. "This one is a guy."

Amelia's eyebrow quirked upwards. "I thought Zelgadis normally tutored the guys in math."

"I can only assume that Rezo didn't give Zel this guy, because _this guy_ ," Lina emphasized, "is a complete idiot."

"Have you told Zelgadis yet?"

"I haven't seen him today."

"Oh. Well, he'll probably be glad it's you, and not him." Amelia turned back to her paper, but after a second, she glanced back at Lina. "So… what's he like?"

"Zel? Oh, you know how your boyfriend is," Lina said sarcastically. "Dark and moody and very likely pissed off about _something_ or other. Probably mad at the library for moving the medieval history texts to make more room for more philosophical rhetoric. Or else he's plotting the demise of world civilization as we know it, which wouldn't surprise me either."

Amelia's tone became clipped. "Xelloss is the one who plots the demise of world civilization as we know it. And you know very well that I meant your new tutoring student, not Zel. _Or_ Xel."

Lina sighed and fished a shrimp out with her chopsticks. "He's a big, blonde, stupid jock. His hair is longer than mine. It's more than a little disturbing."

"Gourry Gabriev?"

Lina actually twitched at the fact that Amelia knew his name, _and_ said it with such… _interest_. Sourly, she said, "Don't let Zel here you say it like that. And how the hell do you even know who he is?"

"Everyone knows who he is," Amelia answered, more reasonably than Lina expected. "He's the star of the football team."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't get fractions. Or that _x_ plus _y_ equals _n minus 4_."

"Not everyone is a mathematical genius like you and Zelgadis, Lina. …So, what _is_ Gourry's best subject?"

"Hell if I know!"

"Well, maybe you should ask him," she said thoughtfully. "It might help. I mean, if you can find a core connection between whatever his favorite subject is, and algebra, he might be able to learn easier."

"I highly doubt that."

"It's worth a try."

Lina stood up and carried the empty cartons back to the trash. "Well, I need to email him my schedule so that we can meet and start this ridiculous little venture."

"…or you could pawn him off on Zel."

"Ha! As if! Then Rezo would be disappointed because I didn't hold up my end of the bargain, and good grief, I'd owe Zel. I have absolutely _no_ desire to be at the mercy of Zel for a favor."

She pretended to ignore Amelia's little smirk as she made her way to her own desk and sat down. Amelia knew damned well that Lina and Zel's relationship balanced precariously between tense irritation and a sadistic mutual partnership — based on their love of the same subject and their competitiveness to out-do the other. To top it off, Zel was also related to Professor Rezo, although he refused to tell anyone what the relation was. Only Lina and Amelia knew that Rezo was Zel's grandfather. If anyone saw the two of them together, they would never guess the truth; Rezo treated Zel with as much indifference as he treated everyone else, and Zel seemed to loathe the professor more than anyone else.

Forgetting about Zel (she'd see him tomorrow in class anyway), Lina opened her email and glanced quickly through the list.

 _From: Student Life  
Subject: Upcoming Student Life Events in September_

 _From: The Writing Center  
_ _Subject: Grammarpalooza! Come Learn New Words!_

 _From: Greywers, Zelgadis  
Subject: Are You Tutoring for Rezo This Semester?_

 _From: Student Life  
Subject: Campus News - August Edition_

 _From: Student Life  
Subject: Reminder - Fall Debate is Coming!_

 _From: Dean Lon  
Subject: President's Blog - Awesome Athletics!_

 _From: Health Center  
Subject: Health Clinics are Open!_

 _From: Dr. R. P. Rezo  
Subject: Tutoring Schedule_

 _From: University Library  
Subject: Library Book Request - Ready for Pick-Up_

 _From: Dr. Eris Vrumugun_ _  
Subject: Advanced Calculus Practicum on Wed._

 _From: Writing Center  
Subject: Free Writing Workshops!_

 _From: Copt, Filia  
Subject: Psychology Study Group Monday Night? =)_

 _From: Student Life  
Subject: Tutor Appreciation Week!_

 _From: Campus Police  
Subject: Emergency Situations and Procedures_

 _From: Taforashia, Posel  
Subject: Hey Flatty, when are we getting pizza?_

 _From: Student Life  
Subject: Cancer Awareness Walk_

She sighed. Stupid Student Life Center, junking up her email as usual. She quickly deleted those out, as well as the Writing Center, Health Center, and Campus Police emails — she didn't need those, either. That cleaned up the list a bit.

She opened the one from Zelgadis first.

 _Is it true? Are you seriously tutoring a football player this semester?_

 _Jackass_ , she thought irritably, and closed it. She could practically hear the delighted sarcasm. She'd answer that later, when she could formulate a better reply than _go to hell_.

The one from Dean Lon turned out to be a long email praising the various sports teams on campus, encouraging students to support athletics, and contained a slightly unnerving excitement about how everyone needed a healthy dose of competitiveness. Lina had never met Dean Lon (nor did she particularly want to). The faculty only spoke of her in hushed tones, and the only professor who had said anything about Dean Lon in Lina's actual presence was Dr. Milgasia, who worked in the science department. He had made the odd remark that Dean Lon was a powerful force to be reckoned with, but had refused to elaborate.

Rezo's email curtly requested a detailed tutoring schedule for Gourry Gabriev by the end of the week. Dr. Eris wanted to remind the students in Lina's Advanced Calculus Practicum to bring both of the course's textbooks to class on Wednesday. Filia, who was double majoring in Psychology and Early Childhood Education, had offered to put together a study group for Abnormal Psychology. Posel was an early-admitted genius Freshman this year, but he was interested in the Mathematics Program and the IT program. He had visited the school the previous winter and Lina had been assigned to escort him around campus due to his preferred major. His high school nickname was Pokota, for some unknown reason. Despite the fact that he was younger than she was, the two had hit it off and formed a weird friendship. He had promised to email her as soon as he was settled in the Freshman dormitories so they could meet up for pizza. But if he called her "Flatty" one more time, she would knock his fucking block off.

Lina sighed and glanced at her upcoming calendar. It was jam-packed already with hockey practices. She would see Zel the next day in Dr. Eris's Advanced Calculus Practicum. She couldn't email Rezo until she emailed Gourry, so she reluctantly put down her take-out, fished the scrap of paper with his email out of her bag, and opened a blank email.

 _To: Gabriev, Gourry  
_ _From: Inverse, Lina  
_ _Subject: Tutoring Schedule_

 _This is your math tutor, Lina. I have Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons free from 1-3. I have Tuesday and Thursday mornings free from 8-10. I have Sundays free from 3-10. Let me know if any of these times fit your schedule. Once we have a set time for tutoring, I need to email the times to Rezo, per his request._

 _Lina_

As soon as that was sent, she shot Filia an email to let her know she could meet for the psychology study group over lunch on Monday, Wednesday, or Fridays; then she shot Pokota an email to let him know they could meet next Tuesday for lunch.

Finally, with a heavy sigh, she dragged out her homework for the night - 50 pages of reading for this class, 20 problems to solve for that class… It was going to be a long night.

Or maybe just a long semester.

* * *

 **Additional Author's Notes:** Like I said; this was just a random idea that flitted into my head and worked itself onto paper. I have no idea where it will go or if it will go anywhere. A reviewer on AO3 asked me to post it anyways and see where it took me, or if anyone had suggestions, so this is for tira_chan.

 **Special thanks to:** My brother, also a _Slayers_ fan, for his thoughts on the location of this story. I was torn between the UK and America. In my head, the UK version featured Lina as a tennis player (based on the NEXT episode in which she plays brassball against Martina), and Gourry as a Rugby player. My brother suggested I keep the story in America; he felt hockey suited Lina better because of her violent nature, and thought Gourry made a good American football player. I thought about setting it in Florida instead of the Northeast; in that scenario, Lina could still be a tennis player and I could put Naga into a ridiculous tennis outfit, but ultimately the original idea won out.

 **Random Thoughts:** Dean Lon is the Lord of Nightmares, obviously. I thought that the most powerful person in the _Slayers_ universe should be the ruler over this very fictional university. On that note, the university and specific location are unnamed other than "north Midwest", so use your own imagination. I don't live in the north OR the midwest, and I'm not familiar with universities there outside of the major state schools. It didn't make sense for me to set the story in the Southeast or Southwest, where hockey isn't a major sport. **The point is, I did not intentionally base this school off of any real school. It is entirely fictional.**

Some portions of this chapter came from my own life experiences. For instance, I knew a girl who entered college at the age of 16. Lina certainly learned magic quickly in the series, before she was 14 years old, so it made sense to me. Also, the emails Lina sifts through were real college emails from when I earned my third BA (2015-2017). I'm still twitching at the idea that a Student Life Center hosted a "Grammarpalooza". I can't make this stuff up, people. Seriously.


	2. Chapter 2

When Lina arrived for her Advanced Calculus III course, she wasn't surprised to find most of the students were kids she didn't know. That was how the mathematics department seemed to work — kids would foolishly declare mathematics as their major or minor, usually in conjunction with IT or Economics, and then they'd end up in Dr. Eris's class or Dr. Rezo's class, and drop within two weeks out of fear. As far as Lina could tell, there were eight such students in this class, all laughing and cutting up with each other. She smiled evilly. It would be fun to watch Dr. Eris put them in their place.

"You didn't email me back last night," a sardonic voice said behind her.

"Go to hell, Zelgadis." Without looking back at him, she went to the back of the room and plopped into a desk next to the window.

She wasn't remotely surprised when Zel sat down in the desk next to her. "So it's true? Rezo has you tutoring a jock?"

" _I'm_ a jock," she reminded him dangerously.

"Hockey and football are two entirely different sports, and you know it. What's he like?"

"Rezo? Oh, you know your grandfather. Sadistic and evil as always."

Zelgadis gave her an annoyed scowl, and Lina sighed.

"Fine, fine. The person in question is an idiot. There, happy?"

"Better you than me tutoring him, then." Zel glanced around the room grimly. "But as long as you get him to pass, Rezo shouldn't care."

"That's the general idea."

The door suddenly opened and Professor Eris whisked in. She slammed the door behind her without even looking at it, and her six-inch heels clicked menacingly across the tiled floor as she made her way to the podium, though how she could walk in that tight-ass black leather mini skirt, Lina wasn't sure.

"Shut up and sit down," she barked at the class, and the kids in the front rows immediately jumped and looked at each other in horror. "This is an advanced calculus course, not a single's bar!"

Lina and Zelgadis only exchanged satisfied smirks.

oOo

By the end of the class, they were instant messaging each other over their laptops, betting on which kid would drop first. Lina was positive it would be the blonde girl in the front row who looked like she would rather play excessive rounds of beer pong than study; Zelgadis was sure it was the guy with his hair swept up and back like a stupid 17-year-old pop idol.

It was a hard call, really.

As soon as the clock hands hit the hour, students were already shoving stuff in their bags and bolting out of the room to escape.

"Miss Inverse and Mr. Greywers, if the two of you would remain behind?" Dr. Eris's voice was cool, as students ran in front of her in their mad race to the door.

It didn't take but seconds for the rest of the class to exit, and Lina and Zelgadis packed their laptops up with resignation. They approached Eris together, slightly wary at her expression.

After glaring at them for a few seconds, she finally snapped, "Were the two of you even paying attention today?"

"Yes," Lina insisted. "You want all the problems in chapter one competed by next Monday. Syllabus is online."

"And," Zelgadis added dryly, "We can get extra credit if we correctly complete the exceptionally difficult problems you post online under the discussion section, by this Sunday night."

Eris's eye twitched. "Who did you bet on?"

Lina shrugged. "The blonde girl, she's an idiot. Did you see her tits? Nearly falling out of that tight-ass top she was wearing. Bet she's already fucked half of frat row, and the semester just started."

"The Beiber look-alike," Zel interrupted. "He's a moron. He's probably a closet Twilight fan. Did you see those skinny jeans? Who the fuck came up with that fad?"

Eris's eye twitched. "What _am_ I going to do with you two?"

"Let us leave for our next class, I hope," Zelgadis mouthed off, while glancing at his watch. "We have Advanced Chemistry with Dr. Milgasia in ten minutes, and it's an uphill hike across campus to the science building."

Eris only laughed, and Lina exhaled in relief.

oOo

"So I hear you're tutoring the star football player this semester!"

Lina growled and lunged at Xelloss. "I will fucking kill you," she snarled. She felt Zelgadis grab her arm and snatch her backwards, away from Xelloss.

"Oh, goodness, I certainly didn't mean to upset you!" Xelloss smiled brightly. "I was just asking a simple question!"

"It was a statement, not a question," Zelgadis reminded him. "How did you find out?"

"Now, _that's_ a secret."

"Everything's always a fucking secret with you," Lina snapped sourly.

"Well, it certainly makes things far more entertaining," Xelloss replied, running a hand over the smooth, black granite counters of the lab before taking a seat.

Dr. Milgasia entered, his face pinched and scowling, as usual. Though he wasn't as bad as Rezo and Eris, Milgasia was still strict and demanding, and he didn't appreciate anyone messing about his his classes.

"Sit down," he announced quietly. His gaze swept over the students until it fell upon Zelgadis, Lina, and Xelloss. Sighing heavily, he muttered, "God help me, not you three again. Haven't you had enough science to graduate yet? Or are you just taking my classes to give me hell?"

Lina rolled her eyes, Zelgadis flipped his laptop open with a smirk, and Xelloss beamed in a way that was by no means innocent.

oOo

By the time Lina made it through the first two days of classes, she was exhausted from the amount of work she had to complete, not to mention the training sessions she had to attend for hockey. However, Gourry did email her back quickly, so she was able to make out a detailed tutoring schedule, which she forwarded to both Gourry and Rezo. Rezo approved it, Gourry gloomily said he would attend, and that was that.

The time slot Gourry selected was Tuesday and Thursday mornings, from 8:00 am until 10:00 am. This didn't particularly bother Lina, though she was slightly surprised that a jock would want go get up so early. She had rather expected him to pick the Sunday afternoons and sleep in whenever he could.

As for herself, she hit the gym each morning at 6:00 am, ran two or three miles, lifted weights, and then headed to the library or class.

But on Tuesday morning, after she finished her run and went to the weight room, she was surprised to find Gourry himself there, lifting two hundred pounds at the press beside her. He was concentrating and didn't noticed her immediately, so she slowly added weights to her press as she watched him from the corner of her eye. Just as she sat down, he finished his reps and sat up, dripping with sweat.

"Lina?" His eyebrows knit slightly, as though he was trying to make sure he remembered exactly who she was.

"Well, at least you remember my name," she muttered, before flopping on her back and beginning to push the weights, relishing the sharp sting in her muscles.

He rubbed his neck, seemingly embarrassed. "That's a lot," he observed, glancing at the total number of pounds.

She ignored him. "Coach constantly tells me I'm not normal for a girl. I don't need to hear it from you, too."

"I didn't mean it like that." His face reddened. "I just haven't met a girl who can lift so much."

"Well, the good thing is, this shows you know how to count," she grunted, pushing the weights up again and remembering what Amelia had suggested, about finding some common ground to help Gourry learn better.

Gourry's brow furrowed. "Huh?"

"You can obviously count, because you know how much weight to put on the bar," she repeated. "So you can at least do arithmetic and subtraction."

"Oh." He glanced at his own weights. "I never thought of it that way. But weights are just in increments of five and ten. It's not that difficult."

"Some people can't even count _that_ well," she reminded him. "How many reps have I done so far?"

Without thinking, he replied, "Twenty-three?"

"Very good. That means you're paying _some_ attention. See? This won't be as hard as you thought."

He sighed. "I wish it were that easy."

"I'll make it easy." She grunted and kept on. Weights always seemed to get heavier the more reps she pushed. "Mathematics is my speciality, remember?"

"Wish I had a speciality. I'm not even that crazy about playing football."

"Then why do you play it?"

He shrugged half-heartedly. "Because I'm good at it. Because if I didn't play football, I wouldn't be in college at all. I'm not too bright. That's what my family tells me."

"Maybe you shouldn't listen to them," Lina responded dangerously, thinking of her own family.

He didn't say anything to that, he just looked gloomy.

"Hey listen." She put the weights back in their slot, sat up, and crossed her arms against the bar so she could look at him better. "I know what it's like to have a family that doesn't appreciate you for who you are. But you gotta just stop listening to them at some point."

"But you're great at school! Why would your family not appreciate you?" He looked confused, and almost like a Labrador puppy staring at her with wide, innocent eyes.

Lina shrugged and tried to ignore that. Instead, she replied, "My sister. She's their favorite. Everything she does is just better than anything I do. I can't compete. So I moved far away, so I wouldn't be in her shadow all the time."

"What does she do?"

"She's a chef."

"Wow. That's…not what I expected." Then, as an afterthought, he added. "I love food."

"So do I, but I can't look like she does, so I eat out most of the time."

"Me too. Hey! We should get together and do a restaurant crawl!" His face brightened. "Kinda like a pub crawl, but for food! That would be _awesome_!"

 _Wait, what_? _Was he asking her out on a date? Or just to hang out as friends?_

 _Friends. It had to be just as friends._

Lina stared at him incredulously. "Restaurant crawl?" she repeated.

"Sure! None of the guys on the team like to do that. They just like to see how much beer they can drink. But I prefer eating. So… would you like to hit some places up tonight?"

Nope, definitely not a date - there was too much enthusiasm in his voice over food. Still, Lina loved food, and Amelia normally stared at her in disgust whenever she saw Lina actually eating. Pakota loved to eat too, but he was busy with Freshman classes and she hadn't seen him but once so far this semester.

And then her mother's voice entered her head: _If this young man sees you eat, he'll be completely disgusted and never ask you out again. Is that what you want? To never be married?_

 _Oh, to hell with it_ , Lina thought angrily. She'd never really had high hopes of snagging a boyfriend anyways, not with her temper or her size A cups. Might as well give it a shot and see if Gourry Gabriev could handle her stomach. If not, what was the worst that could happen? He needed her to tutor him, and even if he told the football team about how she could stuff her face, it wasn't like she had much interaction with those guys.

"Fine, seven o'clock tonight."

His face lit up. "Great!"

oOo

Their first tutoring session was a lesson for patience for both of them. Gourry really was dense, and Lina had never been terribly patient. She focused on basics - addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. There were some struggles, but not as bad as it could have been.

After an hour, she could tell that Gourry was getting tired and losing what little focus he had, so she called it a day and they went their separate ways for the rest of the morning and afternoon, agreeing to meet up on a street corner in downtown at seven that night.

When Lina arrived (in jeans and a t-shirt, because she wasn't dressing to impress some stupid football player), she wondered briefly it he would ditch her. If it had all been a big hoax. But Gourry was only a couple of minutes late, dressed much the same as she was, and he grinned enthusiastically.

"Hey, you came!" He looked happy at this revelation, and she tried to ignore the way her stomach swooped slightly. Stupid body parts reacting for no reason whatsoever - _what the fuck?_ And such a pain in the ass. He wasn't _that_ good looking, she told herself sourly.

Gourry claimed he knew a great place, so she let him lead, and he took her down an alley to a hole-in-the-wall. Lina didn't complain; such places typically had good food, even if the atmosphere wasn't ambient. Sure enough, the inside was rather rough-and-tumble, and a bored-looking waitress showed them to a table.

"Not big enough," Gourry complained.

The waitress looked confused. "What's not big enough?"

"The table. Can we have that one over there?" He pointed to a larger table.

"Uh, sure?"

"Great!"

When they received the menus, Lina ordered several things right off, while watching Gourry to see his reaction. Instead of looking appalled, he beamed and told the waitress to double Lina's order for him.

"You mean my order didn't freak you out?" Lina asked in surprise.

"Why should it?"

"Most guys look at me and get grossed out when I order so much off the menu. They want to know where I put it, since it obviously doesn't go to my boobs. Or if I'm going to pay for it myself. Which I usually do," she added darkly.

He looked slightly bewildered. "You play hockey so... don't you burn it off in practice? Same as me, I guess."

It was irritating to be compared to a football player, but he had a point. That was exactly the problem - she burned a hell of a lot of energy.

The waitress's expression, however, was similar to most of Lina's previous (and few) dates' expressions. It took several waiters to help her bring out all of the food, and as soon as the food hit the table, Lina and Gourry immediately dug in.

"MMM TRY THE FRIES!"

"GIMME THAT POTATO SKIN!"

"NO WAY IT'S MINE!"

"GIVE IT BACK!"

They finished dinner in roughly fifteen minutes, still fighting over the last plate of cheese fries, which ended in Lina winning when she threatened to stab Gourry's hand with a fork.

"That was really good," she admitted, still toying with the fork and eyeing his hand. "I've never been here before. Good choice."

"Yeah, one of my teammates brought me here once. After he watched me eat, he swore he'd never go out with me again," Gourry said.

"Well, your eating didn't bother me," she assured him, tossing the fork onto a dirty plate.

"That's good to know." He grinned at her. "So… dessert?"

"Know a good place?"

"Sure do! Soft serve ice cream just around the corner."

" _Phibrizzo's_!" Lina said knowingly. "That's Xelloss's favorite place."

"Who's Xelloss?"

"He's in the science program. His speciality is chemistry. He's a real pain in the ass, but I've had several classes with him the past three years, so I suppose he's an acquaintance at this point. He's brilliant in his field, and I study with him occasionally."

"I'm no good at science, either." Gourry sighed as they walked back into the alley. "I took Earth Science my first year and barely scrapped by. I'm not good at much of anything, really. I forget stuff easily."

"Well, at least you don't have to worry about taking another science class," she reminded him.

"No, I just have to worry about passing algebra."

"That'll be easy. We've only had one tutoring session."

"I hope it gets easier."

They rounded the corner and Phibrizzo's came into view; the ice cream parlor was crawling with girls who had hauled their guys out on a date. A number of them eyed Gourry appreciatively as he and Lina made their way to the counter, and Lina scowled in disgust.

The woman who ran the place was a co-owner, and all Lina knew about her was that her name was Zelas. She was an tall, attractive woman who, despite that, dressed far too skimpily, though without remotely giving a damn. She brought in the guys just on her appearance, which was probably why she ran the counter instead of hiring college kids to do the job for her. The other owner, the actual Phibrizzo, was never in the place and Lina had no idea what he did. Probably a whiz with finances and running multiples businesses, racking up millions and living like some fat cat in a posh hotel in New York or LA, if she had to guess.

She ordered strawberry and Gourry ordered chocolate; they found a bar table outside to sit and watch the crowds go by.

"It's kind of disgusting the way those girls stare at you when they have boyfriends right beside them," Lina finally declared loudly, glaring at a blonde chick who quickly flushed and looked back at her own table. She had indeed been blatantly staring at Gourry instead of the guy she was with.

Gourry seemed confused. "They do?"

"Uh, you don't notice that?"

"No."

"You're apparently the star of the football team. You could have any girl you wanted. That one over there would ditch her boyfriend and bang you all night if you told her you were remotely interested."

To her surprise, Gourry flushed as bad as the girl had. "Oh. Well, I guess I'm not interested in…"

"Are you gay?" Lina demanded, cutting him off.

" _What_? No!" He looked horrified.

"It's not a bad thing, I was just wondering." She tilted her head. "So then, why are you so against dating? Or one-night stands? I thought most guys enjoyed the occasionally fuck."

"I don't want to have sex a random girl for no reason, and I don't want to date just _anyone_." He looked annoyed.

A group of girls passed by, giggling and pointing, and his annoyance quickly turned to embarrassment. He leaned across the table and hissed, "Like those girls! Are _they_ interested in me?"

"Uh, yeah. I'd say so."

"What about _you_? Are you interested in me?" He looked totally baffled and a bit frightened as he glanced back at the girls, who were tripping over the sidewalk and waving at him at the same damned time.

Lina felt herself flushing slightly. _Was_ she interested in him?

 _Hell no_ , she told herself. He was a stupid-ass jock who couldn't do math (or any other subject, apparently) to save his life. He was obviously as dumb as dirt, and she had more important things to think about, like hockey and graduate school.

But… well, he _was_ rather attractive. Like Gracia had said - built like a brick shit house and all that silky blonde hair…

She looked down at her ice cream and muttered, "Me? Nah, I mean, you're attractive and all, but I just met you."

"See, that's how _I_ feel about girls!" His blue eyes grew huge. "I don't even know them, why would I want to have sex with them?"

Well _shit_ , he had a point. Instead, she observed dryly, "You're kind of unusual."

"You don't have to remind me. Most of the team already does. If I didn't score all the goals I do, they wouldn't care about me one way or the other." He looked miserable.

"Then why stay on the team?"

"I wouldn't be in college otherwise," he reminded her. "I'm here on a scholarship. I barely graduated high school."

"Oh. Right."

They finished their ice cream in silence, and then started walking back. Their apartments weren't but a couple of blocks apart - Gourry in a basement flat in an old mid-century bottling plant that had been turned into apartments, and Lina with Amelia in an old house that had been converted into several apartments. They agreed to meet up again on Thursday for tutoring and then head out to another good restaurant Thursday night, which suited Lina just fine. Maybe it would be nice to have a restaurant buddy, since Amelia couldn't stand to watch her eat.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** An amazing reviewer on AO3 drew a fanart that was partially inspired by this piece, and I am always so stunned and humbled that any of my work inspires anyone to draw. It's not the first time I've had a very professional, talented artist draw something for me but it always makes me super happy and excited. I hate how FFnet is such a real pain in the arse about links. Drives me nuts. Drawn by the awesome AnxiousSailorSoldier:

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anxioussailorsoldier

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That's the most annoying way to link possible, but the only way I could manage it without FFnet taking words and symbols out.

~BD

* * *

"Let me get this straight." Zelgadis was typing away, multitasking because he was so damned good at it, and it drove Lina nuts – both the constant clicking of keys _and_ the multitasking.

"You're going out to _restaurants_ with the jock you're tutoring?" He paused and glanced at her. "That's not like you, hanging around proverbial jocks."

Waspishly, she snapped, "Yes, contrary to how much I hate jocks, this one doesn't get grossed out by the way I eat. It's kind of nice to have a buddy to go restaurant crawling with."

"Restaurant crawling is _not_ a thing. _Pub_ crawling is a thing –"

"Of course restaurant crawling is a thing!" Lina felt her face heat with annoyance. Why had she even _told_ Zelgadis about her interactions with Gourry? She should have known he would rag her something awful for it, which was really unfair, because she sure as hell didn't tease him about Amelia.

Well... _much_ , at any rate.

It had been two weeks since she'd started tutoring Gourry, and they had fallen into a bizarre but oddly comfortable pattern. First, they would bump into each other at the gym. Afterwards, they would spend an hour or so going over algebra, and then later in the evening they would hit up a new restaurant. Gourry's quiz grades were slightly better – maybe because he was eating regularly, or maybe because Lina was just so damned good at tutoring. Rezo had told her two days earlier that the idiot had made a C+ on the latest test, which was much better than his first quiz grade, apparently. But what it really meant was that Lina wasn't doing her best. Rezo didn't give compliments. It was meant as a challenge, not praise – he was expecting at least B's.

"How is he coming along in math?" Zegladis asked.

"A little better." Lina shrugged, trying to sound offhand and unconcerned. "He made a C+ on the last test."

"You'll have to do better than that unless you want Rezo giving you cold looks of disappointment," he drawled.

"Don't remind me," she muttered.

A new voice interrupted the conversation, grating as it always did on Lina's very last nerve.

"So now you're _dating_ the jock? My, my... Isn't that the switch!"

Before she even thought about it, she grabbed a miniature blowtorch from the nearby lab table and was almost at Xelloss when Zelgadis grabbed her around the waist and hauled her back to her seat.

"Miss Inverse," Professor Milgasia's voice rang out coldly across the lab. "Do that again and I'll kick you into the hall. And I'll enjoy it."

Angrily, Lina tossed the blowtorch back onto the counter and huffed under her breath, "It was Xelloss's fault -"

"Don't go blaming other people for your brashness," Zelgadis muttered, turning back to his laptop. "You're the one who wanted to go _restaurant crawling_ with the guy."

oOo

It was always a toss up as to whether Xelloss would keep his mouth shut or not, but that wasn't how the hockey team found out. The very next night, after practice, Naga and Martina cornered her in the locker room, looking positively evil.

"What the hell do you two want?" Lina demanded grouchily, glaring up at them as she unlaced her skates.

"We hear you're dating that brick shithouse on the football team," Naga said, her voice dripping with relish as she leaned one arm above Lina against the lockers, towering over her. "The one you're supposed to be _tutoring_?"

 _That was Naga for you_ , Lina thought sourly. Always straight to the point in the most uncouth way possible. At least she hadn't started undressing yet, otherwise Lina would be staring straight into Naga's boobs. At least the padding hid those monstrosities better than anything else she wore.

"I'm not dating him," she said, trying to remember what Zelgadis said about being too brash. It would do no good to pick a brawl with Naga in the locker room, where Coach Ashford could walk in at any moment and ban her from playing. "Who started _that_ rumor?"

" _You_ did, silly! The whole school knows!" Martina giggled; the very sound made Lina's skin crawl.

She sat up straight and scowled at both of them. "What the _hell_ are you two talking about? Because I honestly have no idea."

Martina leaned towards Naga and said in a mock whisper, "She may be dating him, but she's obviously not getting any."

 _Oh, balls_. To hell with not being brash.

A few moments later, when Naga had managed to separate them, Martina was sporting several bruises and Lina was still snarling.

"A number of people," Naga said sensibly, as though there had been no interruption in their conversation, "have seen the two of you out eating together. _Several_ times."

Lina stared at her. "Huh?"

Martina, who was sitting on the floor nursing a sore shoulder that Lina had punched rather aggressively, glowered up at her. "Damn it, do you _have_ to hit so hard? No wonder no one wants to date you! Do you hit Gabriev, too?"

Naga stepped between them again before Lina could retaliate. "You've been seen leaving the hot wing joint together, a pizza place, two pubs, and a burger joint. Not to mention you always go for ice cream at Brizzo's afterwards."

Lina turned pink. "Are you _serious_? We're just restaurant crawling, that's all! The football team doesn't like the way _he_ eats, and no guy wants to date me because of the way _I_ eat, so Gourry and I have been hitting restaurants together. But we're not _dating_. I can't _believe_ people think -!"

"Of course people are going to think that!" Martina snapped. "All the girls want to date Gabriev!"

"I don't give a damn about -"

"And no one can understand why he wants to date _you_!"

"Well, that's for him to respond to, not me," Lina snapped. "Besides, we're _not dating_! What the fuck is so hard to understand about that? Two people can be friends, you know, without having sex and taking stupid duck-lipped selfies together!"

Naga, who was now stripping out of her gear, pulled her pads off and said cheerfully, "No - no, that's just a myth. You can have perfectly great sex with someone you aren't friends with."

"You are _not_ helping," Lina snapped. "We do _not_ want to hear about your weird relationships!"

"They aren't as weird as yours," Naga said with satisfaction. "At least I'm not _restaurant crawling_ with my partners."

oOo

The next tutoring session was next to murder. Lina had resolved to be cheerful and upbeat, and to pretend like nothing unusual was going on with the campus rumor mill. She was talked about enough as it was, _without_ Gourry's help, just for her behavior on the ice rink. She sure as hell didn't need additional gossip flying about, claiming she was dating the star quarterback, whom every girl on campus apparently wanted to fuck senseless.

Well, senseless wasn't quite the right word - he was _already_ senseless. Maybe a good fuck would get his brain going, she thought sourly, as she sat at the table next to him, trying to explain the next lesson.

Gourry was always easily distracted, but today was ten times worse than usual, and she could only assume it was because he was hearing the same rumors she had heard. Every time their eyes met, he flushed a dull pink. And heaven forbid if her hand bumped his as she reached over to point something out in his textbook.

Finally, she gave up trying to explain algebra and snapped, "If you don't focus, you'll fail the class, get kicked off the football team, and Professor Rezo will give me hell. To say nothing of what the rest of campus will do to you _or_ me. What's your problem today, anyways?"

He glanced at her, but merely flushed again and kept silent.

"I _will_ hit you!" she threatened, falling back on her old standards of physical threats instead of negotiation and patience.

" _That_ I can take," he muttered, letting his hair fall slightly between them to create a bit of a barrier.

A rush of annoyance welled up inside her chest, and without thinking, she punched him hard in the arm. He grimaced, but he didn't whine or yelp or complain that it hurt. He just sat there, like a great stupid lump.

Actually, she thought with enormous irritation, it hurt _her_ more than it hurt him. She'd punched her knuckles right into his bicep, which was like pounding a piece of motherfucking granite. Resisting the urge to shake her bruised knuckles (or fantasize about that rock-solid arm of his), she demanded, "So? What's wrong with you today? You owe me that for hitting that rock under your sleeve, damn it."

He looked genuinely confused. "Huh? I don't have rocks under my sleeves."

She pushed his t-shirt sleeve up and poked at the rippling, hard muscles. " _That_ , dumbass!"

He flushed again. "Oh. But... I didn't think you were interested in my body."

"I'm not! But I don't punch too many guys who can actually sit there and take it. They all tell me I hit like a man or some shit, that it hurts when I punch them, and that pisses me off even more. You're the first who didn't act like it bothered you. I hate to admit it, but I'm mildly impressed. Now tell me what your problem is. You owe me."

Gourry rubbed the back of his neck and sighed deeply. "The guys on the team have been picking on me. That's not really unusual or anything," he amended, glancing at her again and holding her gaze this time. "But I thought _you_ would be mad if you found out. When you came in today, you were kind of cheerful, so I thought maybe you hadn't heard yet, and that really worried me. They're saying some really shitty things about you. I told them none of it was true, but they think I'm odd anyways, so it didn't do much good. I'm really sorry."

Lina paused. He had defended her? That was strange. No man had ever gone that far before. "What are they saying?" she asked curiously. She could guess, but it was more fun to make him sweat a bit.

"Eh, never mind." He picked up his pencil and went back to looking at the problem he had been trying to solve. "You'll just get mad and hit me again."

"No, I won't."

"Yeah, right."

"Seriously. I won't hit you. _You_ aren't saying those things about me. And besides, I'd rather not break _all_ of my knuckles today. Hands are necessary for gripping hockey sticks. I don't need to be benched."

He considered her statement, and finally muttered, "Well... They're saying that you're a flat-chested virgin who only knows how to stuff her face with food, and they expected me to do better if I was going to...you know. Sleep around."

Well, she'd be lying if she said it didn't sting a little bit, but Gourry hadn't been the one to say it.

"And you told them that wasn't true?"

He shrugged. "I mean, you aren't...you know, big or anything, I know that. But I never thought about you being a virgin or not. I told them we weren't having sex. You're just my tutor. They didn't really believe me, though." He paused, and then added, "Listen, I had fun going to restaurants with you. It was nice to enjoy food with someone who didn't get grossed out by the way I eat."

"Then why say it in past tense? We can still go out if you want. Unless you're worried I'll ruin your chances of finding a girlfriend."

"Huh? No! That's not it at all!"

"Or if you're tired of being bullied by the stupid football team..."

(If she got her hands on those guys, there would be hell to pay, and make no mistake. Even if she _was_ a virgin. Well, _technically_ , at any rate. Battery operated devices didn't count.)

"They'd tease me even if we didn't ever go out to eat again. I just didn't think you would want to be seen with me. I thought maybe I was ruining your reputation. Or that you wouldn't want all the rumors going around. Girls can be pretty mean, too. I wouldn't want you to get beat up because of me."

"Please. Very few people could beat me up, believe me! I took martial arts when I was a kid and I've been playing hockey since I learned to skate at the age of two. As for my reputation, well... My temper ruins that, without any help from you." Lina sighed. Her parents had always told her that she had a foul temper. Luna had always said she had a short-ass fuse and to grow up, for fuck's sake. Amelia and Zelgadis were constantly telling her to control her temper, and most of the hockey team (sans Naga and Martina) avoided her. She plowed on irritably, "If I haven't found a guy who will date me in the past four years, this semester isn't going to be the magical fairytale ending, I promise. So, do you want to keep hitting up restaurants? Create some more gossip?"

It was a tantalizing idea, really – the best way to irritate gossipmongers was to keep on doing _exactly_ what they didn't like.

"That'd probably keep all the slutty girls away from me," he agreed. "And I like eating out with you. It's fun."

"Well then, let's keep on annoying people. I'm good at that. But in the meantime, if you don't tell me what the value of _n_ is, Rezo is going to kill both of us, so it will be a moot point."

Gourry smiled with relief and refocused on the problem. Five minutes later, he gave her the right answer.

oOo

"You know, half the female population on campus is ready to kill you."

It was a wonder Pokota could talk at all while stuffing pizza in his face, let alone enunciate, she thought sourly.

"So I hear," Lina replied coldly, grabbing another two slices before he could claim them.

"Is he good in bed?"

She felt a flare of irritation, leaned over, and whacked him hard upside the head; he yelped and kicked her under the table in retaliation.

"I'm not sleeping with him, damn it," she snarled, "I'm tutoring him. And we go out to eat because we both love food!"

"Then it's not a problem if you invite _me_ along next time, is it? I love food too, you know. And besides, if I come with you, then the girls will know he's not your boyfriend. Couples don't usually take a third wheel along. If you aren't dating him, then it won't be a problem if I go with the two of you."

She twitched. "They might think you're our kid. You look like you're ten."

He kicked at her under the table again and snarled, "Shut up, flatty!"

"If you call me that one more time," she lunged across the table and grabbed him in a headlock, "I will beat the fucking shit out of you, do you understand me, you little brat?"

"OW! _Letgoletgoletgo_!"

She released him and grabbed another piece of pizza. "It's sad that the Freshmen have nothing better to talk about than a couple of upperclassmen who go out to eat together simply because they enjoy food," she remarked sourly.

"People get bored easily," Pokota reminded her. "So, have you seen him play yet?"

Lina nearly choked on her pizza. "Huh?"

"Geez, you really _are_ an idiot." Pokota sat back in his chair and surveyed her with an expression of pity and exasperation. "If you're friends with him, you should go to one of his games and see how he plays. That's what friends _do_."

"But I hate football! And a _true_ friend would understand that and not bug a friend to do something they didn't like! Besides, Gourry has never asked me to come to see his games, so it's a moot point. He doesn't care about whether or not I show up to watch him."

"Just because he hasn't asked doesn't mean he wouldn't be happy if you came. You can sit with me," he offered. "And hey, it might help you tutor him."

"Oh, you know I'm _dying_ to hear how you're going to make _that_ connection."

More reasonably than Lina expected, Pokota replied, "Because football involves a lot of math. He's out there doing math without even realizing it. He has to calculate the angle of the ball, the trajectory each time it's thrown, how many feet are in the yards he runs, how many downs they're on, how far too run..."

She toyed with a piece of crust, frowning slightly. _Damn_ Pokota, he had a point, and she hated to admit it.

He smirked at her and leaned in. "Am I right?"

"Oh, shut up."

"So are you going to sit with me next game?" he teased.

"Bloody fucking hell," Lina snarled. "I hate you, you know that, right?"

Pokota just laughed.

oOo

Going to the game wasn't the worst part. Somehow, her close friends found out, and that was _definitely_ worse. Lina didn't know if Pokota contacted them or if she had unconsciously let something slip in normal conversation with Amelia – but regardless, she found herself sitting at the top of the bleachers along with Amelia, Zelgadis, and Pokota, squinting at the tiny pinpricks on the field that the others claimed were players.

And for Lina, watching sports was not _nearly_ as fun as _playing_ a sport.

It wasn't that she disliked the sport of football itself in particular, although it was certainly _not_ her favorite sport by a long shot. However, all sports – football included – involved calculated tactics and strategy. What she despised was the crowds. She had never really thought about it before, because when she played hockey she was only vaguely aware of the fans watching the game – the cheering and the booing, the shouting, and the funny signs guys held up that said things like, "Hey ref, are you pregnant? You just missed a period!"

What she wasn't aware of was just how _many_ people were in the crowds, and how _crowded_ crowds could be. Sitting in the nosebleed section of the stadium was enough to make her never want to go near a sporting event ever again. She could barely make out anything from the top seats, let alone strategy, which was irritating as hell.

Rezo would be _thrilled_ , she thought sourly, if he ever found out she _hated watching sports_. She could _never_ tell him; he would never let her live it down.

After the first five minutes, she angrily demanded, "How the hell does anyone know what's going on?"

"I follow along online," Pokota said without looking at her. He was staring down at his cell phone, watching a live video feed of the game.

Was he _kidding_? She punched him in the arm and snapped, "Then why the fucking hell did we pay good money to sit all the way in the next county?"

Zelgadis sighed. "You can also watch the big screens." He pointed towards the huge screen at the end of the field, which showed close-ups of the action. "For someone who plays sports, you certainly don't know a lot about _watching_ sports."

"I have no interest in being a spectator," Lina said coldly. "Watching it on your phone in the bleachers is ridiculous! And why do we have to sit all the way up here?"

"Students always sit in this section," Amelia replied cheerfully. "The good seats are for the people who buy season passes, and everyone knows only the filthy rich get to sit in the private boxes."

Lina leaned over Zegadis to complain to Amelia, "Then why aren't _we_ in a private box? Couldn't your dad -?"

" _No_!" Amelia looked scandalized and horrified. "And you _know_ that's supposed to be a secret," she hissed furiously, leaning over to meet Lina nose-to-nose.

"Geez, get back in your seats," Zelgadis snapped, pushing them apart. "One would think neither of you had heard of personal space!"

"We're in a stadium with several thousand people," Lina replied darkly. "There _is_ no concept of _personal space_."

"Fourth down!" Pokota yelled enthusiastically.

"Yay!" Amelia looked excited, and even Zelgadis glanced at the large screen to see what was happening.

Lina, however, twitched and asked, "What's a fourth down?"

"Oh God," Zelgadis groaned. "This is going to be a _horribly_ long night."

"It means," Amelia said, with the patience of someone who had grown up in the political arena, "that the opposing team has one more try to make a play - they have to move at least ten yards, or our team gets the ball!"

Zelgadis grouched, "Next time, brush up on the rules before you come. I don't want to be explaining things all night!"

"There isn't going to be a next time," Lina warned. "I have far more important things to study than stupid football rules."

Amelia started texting on her phone, but said absently, "Pokota is right, though. If it helps you help Gourry -"

"You know," Lina bitched, "I haven't devoted nearly this kind of time to any of my other tutoring gigs, and neither have you," she added, glaring at Zelgadis. "What the hell is so special about this one?"

"He's popular," Zelgadis reminded her. The crowd went up in cheers - apparently, the opposing team had _not_ achieved ten yards on their fourth down. He cringed slightly at the noise and said loudly, "And you're the only one keeping him _on the team_."

Lina remembered what Gourry had said about sometimes wishing he _wasn't_ on the team but did not voice this aloud. It wasn't her place to tell his secrets to people he didn't even know.

"He has to keep _himself_ on the team," she said instead. "It's _his_ scholarship. I maintain mine just fine, you know!"

"Some people aren't as brilliant as you, me, and Zel," Pokota said sensibly.

"Do you have an argument for everything?" She was getting pissed off, and she wasn't exactly sure why, unless it was just the loudness of the boisterous crowd around her, the feeling of being trapped in the bleachers, and the distance she was from the actual field.

"Geez, just enjoy the game, flatty."

Lina was about to hit him when something caught her eye and she visibly shivered. "Amelia," her tone was dangerous, "Tell me you did _not_ text –"

But by that point, Naga was already level with them, holding a beer, looking slightly red about her cheekbones, and wearing the most revolting leather bustier and high-cut shorts Lina had seen in a long time.

"Ooh, you were right, sis!" she cackled, sitting down beside Amelia and digging into the wallet on the back of her cell phone. She pulled out a ten and handed it to her sister, smirking with a slightly smashed air. "I really didn't believe you. You win."

"You _bet_ on me?" Lina was standing before she realized it, her fists in balls. Zelgadis forced her back into her seat against her will.

"We had every right to," Naga answered. "You _never_ go to sporting events unless you're playing in them."

"She did go to see Martina play tennis once," Amelia said thoughtfully, her eyes on the large screen.

Lina growled, "Just to gauge her abilities, which are next to zero."

The crowd suddenly roared and someone fired a cannon somewhere down below; the band started playing and Lina jerked her attention back to the game. The scoreboard was flashed six points for the home team while the big screens showed buxom cheerleaders high kicking and waving their pom-poms.

"Now they kick for a field goal," Pokota said, in an attempt to keep her informed of the actual plays.

She groused and shifted in her seat, watching the large television on the end of the field instead of the tiny dots upon the field. At least that didn't give her vertigo as badly.

"Well, isn't _this_ a surprise!"

Lina felt another shiver skate up her backbone. She turned from the screen to glare at Xelloss, who was beaming at her and holding his own beer.

"You could have brought me one," she said dangerously. Then, turning to Pokota, she asked, "Who _else_ have you invited to sit with us, without telling me?"

"Just a couple of others." His voice was too innocent.

It was ten more minutes before the "others" showed up, though Lina couldn't find that she was terribly irritated when they did appear. After all, Luke was a friend of hers in the IT program, which was likely how Pokota met him, and Milina was a friend of Luke's who hung out with him despite the fact that she had placed him firmly in the friend-zone.

"The kid said you were actually going to come to a game," Luke drawled. "I didn't know whether to believe him or not."

Lina sighed. "Yeah, well... I'm tutoring Gabriev, and the brat here thought – "

" _Hey_!"

" – that it would be a good idea for me to see how he plays. But I can't say I'm enjoying it." She gritted her teeth and ignored Pokota. "Too many people, too much noise, _and_ I have homework to do – "

"I doubt that," Milina said blithely, taking a seat in front of Lina and scanning the stadium. "You're always caught up on your work."

"Yeah. You do math problems for fun," Luke added. "Don't deny it."

"It's _practice_! If I don't practice – "

The stadium roared again and Lina pressed her hands over her ears in sheer irritation. Up on the big screen, the camera focused on one of the cheerleaders – with a jolt, Lina realized it was Filia. She had forgotten her other friend was a cheerleader. When she'd met Filia a couple of years earlier, she would have never pegged the innocent blonde girl as a cheerleader, and it had been a surprise to learn the truth.

"Her boyfriend is on the team, you know." Milina was watching Lina curiously.

"I'd forgotten." The screen switched images, now showing Filia's boyfriend Val, who had just made the touchdown. He looked smugly pleased with himself; apparently, he was as popular as Gourry with the crowds.

The rest of the night passed by far too slowly and far too loudly for Lina's liking. The crowds always roared excitedly whenever Gourry took the field, yet he never seemed to look up at the stadium around him. Twice she excused herself to get a beer – God knew she needed it to get through three hours of torture. And each time she went down to the stairs, people whispered as she passed, and she would glare at them and dare anyone to speak to her. No one did.

When the game _finally_ ended (they won, 42-21) Lina wanted to wait until the crowds thinned before leaving. As a result, it was nearly midnight when she arrived back at her apartment (Amelia had decided to spend a few minutes with Zel in his car) and she was grateful to take a hot shower and fall into bed. There was no way in hell she was going to suffer through another football game – of that, she was certain.

* * *

 **Other Random Author Notes:** Wondering who "Ashford" is? I actually did not pick a random name for Lina's hockey coach - Ashford appears in _Slayers NEXT_ as the man who wants to kill the lake dragon.

 **Dark Irony:** When I started this story, I had left my first career to go back to school and get my masters. Now, in a really incredibly bizarre twist of fate, I'm working for a major university with a huge football tradition, and I am just NOT a big football fan. I did spend 6 years playing in band in high school, but that's about the extent of my football knowledge. Now I find myself trying to support the school I work for, even buying colors for my wardrobe when, two years ago, I would have completely balked at such an idea. Life is indeed a twisting road with many surprises.


End file.
